Thoughts on Dating

  Warning : Long Post  -  Not for anyone who has an attention span below 5 minutes. There’s a thin line between confidence and delusionment, and i think it’s fair to say that at times i lean towards the latter. But then again, i’m so confident with myself i simply overwrite that thought. -grins. All of us struggle with the issue of confidence in various parts of our lives, whether it’s going to have lunch alone or thinking you’re not good looking enough. Well, today i’m going to help you improve your confidence to a level that hovers just below arrogance -winks. Change Your Thinking, Blablabla   GET REAL I’m not going to tell you how to change your mentality to believing you’re a better person and all that crap, or change your beliefs and your heart. It’s all a load of bull and nothing gets solved in the end. I’m here to give you the real stuff on how to improve your confidence. First, let me share with you some insecurities and confidence struggles i USED...

  "Women's liberation is wonderful for helping women compete with men as equals in business, but it's a disaster for them when they want to marry." This comes from a woman, Dr. Pat Allen, who has been married and who has undoubtedly benefited from the women's liberation movement. But, that's what's great about Dr. Allen, she tells the unadulterated truth.   It is an unfortunate reality that over the past 40-50 years while women have made advances socially, economically, and politically, our personal relationships have in many ways deteriorated. In this book, Dr. Pat Allen and her co-author Don Schmincke use science and biology to outline male/female attraction and the mating dance. Though we may be living in the 21st century, our bodies still have not caught up. We really haven't evolved that much. I didn't get  pissed off  while reading this book. There was a lot of humor in this book and I laughed out loud in many parts. In fact, I felt ...

Why do men cheat, especially with escorts? This is the million dollar question of the day.  The question that’s been asked by  Oprah, Redbook, Essence Magazine, Dr. Phil , and a host of other sources trying to get to the bottom of this domestic issue. And the answer is (Drum roll Please) Variety…. Every man has his own reason for wanting to participate in this particular vice, and it’s not always for reasons that you may think of like sex and perversion.  Because lets face it- If it’s only about sex, he can do that alone and at home, for free.  More than likely, the answer lies somewhere between lack of intimacy and the love of variety, and for the men that want variety, there’s really no exact cure unless he gets caught. Men that desire variety can cheat forever, and that’s why you have men that “Hobby” (industry term) for 10, 20, and 30 years.  It’s the excitement of being with someone new, without having to do the whole courting and dating thing. Then you hav...

  Non-black men are interested, ladies. I’ve received messages from non-black men seeking answers as to what are the best ways to meet and relate to YOU. I often wonder if we as BW are sometimes missing the signs and signals- I admit I may also be guilty of this as well. So I thought a blog post would be a great way to answer some questions I’m getting and to also hopefully generate some discussion. One of my pet peeves about men who give relationship advice to women is that although it is good to hear their perspectives they can’t always understand the female experience and how their advice impacts it. So forgive me if as a woman I cannot completely relate to the male experience. Finally, as every woman is different and has her own individual preferences I can only speak in generalities. On to the questions, round one! How can you tell if she’s interested? What are the signs, facial expressions, and body language? Sometimes in the seemingly never ending bus-i-ness, women aren’t a...

  Q:  My husband passed away last December. I still miss him, but I would like to start living my life again. I've been looking at single sites, but all the men seem to just want sex – and I'm not ready for that yet. Where can I meet people who are interested in getting to know a person slowly? -Lora P. A:  Hi Lora, First, let me offer you my deepest condolences for the loss of your dear husband. Having lost my wife a few years back, I know how deeply this cuts and how difficult it is to move forward. But I am very pleased that you’re interested in moving on, and I am confident that your late husband would want nothing less for you than to find true love, companionship and real happiness again. This leads us to your dilemma regarding where to meet considerate and decent men who will be sensitive to your situation, respect your loss and honor your desire to move slowly. The truth is that there are a variety of places where you can explore new relationships, but there is no...

  It's a sad truth: Lots of women are abused by their husbands or boyfriends. Could you be one? Learn how to recognize these 12 signs of an abusive relationship...  Think abuse could never happen to you? Even if he never raises a hand, you could be hit with emotional abuse or verbal smackdowns that are equally damaging. Yet, “women tend to overlook these signs because we’re trying to be understanding, or because we can’t believe that our man would do anything like that,” says Michele Sugg, MSW, a therapist in Branford, Conn. The number of women who don’t make headlines or get personal pleas from Oprah is staggering: Each year, two million are battered and 1,200 are killed by their partners, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Even more live in fear of violence or face emotional abuse every day. Check out these 12 signs of abuse, which can help you avoid becoming another statistic. 1. He makes snide jokes at your expense. Although boo...