Where Do I Find A Good Single Mature Man?

 

Q: My husband passed away last December. I still miss him, but I would like to start living my life again. I've been looking at single sites, but all the men seem to just want sex – and I'm not ready for that yet. Where can I meet people who are interested in getting to know a person slowly?

-Lora P.

A: Hi Lora,

First, let me offer you my deepest condolences for the loss of your dear husband. Having lost my wife a few years back, I know how deeply this cuts and how difficult it is to move forward. But I am very pleased that you’re interested in moving on, and I am confident that your late husband would want nothing less for you than to find true love, companionship and real happiness again. This leads us to your dilemma regarding where to meet considerate and decent men who will be sensitive to your situation, respect your loss and honor your desire to move slowly.

The truth is that there are a variety of places where you can explore new relationships, but there is no guarantee you won’t run into one of those wolves on the prowl for wounded and vulnerable souls. In situations like yours, however, I always tend to think of networking with friends and loved ones first. After all, these significant people in your life already love you, know you well and want the best for you. They also know their friends and co-workers well enough to help minimize matching errors and keep the wolves at bay. Of course, there is always your local place of worship, book clubs and volunteering centers to name just a few other options. With that said, let me also invite our readers to leave some suggestions, as I’m sure many of them have been or are currently in your situation. I honestly believe there are kind and good men out there, Lora, and I’m confident, if you take your time, you will find one.

Links for Mature Singles:

Minneapolis Mature Singles
Columbus Mature Singles
Fort Worth Mature Singles
Phoenix Mature Singles
Las Vegas Mature Singles
Denver Mature Singles
Indianapolis Mature Singles
San Antonio Mature Singles
Louisville Mature Singles
Seattle Mature Singles
Chicago Mature Singles
New York Mature Singles
Colorado Springs Mature Singles
Milwaukee Mature Singles
Pittsburgh Mature Singles
Jacksonville Mature Singles
Dallas Mature Singles
Oklahoma City Mature Singles
St Louis Mature Dating

Q: I met a wonderful guy who I’ve connected with on many levels.  However, he has been burned in the past, and now has recently told me he just wants to be friends.  Is he just testing the waters before he jumps?

 

-Scott B.

 

A: Hi Scott,

 

Thank you for taking the time to send me your question.  Let me begin by saying that I’m not sure I know a single person who hasn’t been burned in the past at least once.  I’m reminded of that old saying regarding the two things that are guaranteed in this life: death and taxes.  Well, I think we should add a third to that list: getting burned. Such heartache seems to be unavoidable.  Now let me address his I just want to be friends statement.

 

After someone gets hurt in a relationship, a simple platonic friendship is a common request.  You ask, “Is he testing the waters before he jumps?”  Of course it’s impossible for me to know for sure, but I would guess that he is, although he may not be aware of it.  And, after all, what better way is there to begin a loving relationship than as… friends?  If you really connect with him and he really connects with you, then be patient with him. Don’t push things too fast and allow him to test your waters, so to speak.  Just make sure that the initial splashing about is both safe and platonic, and try not to venture into deep water too soon.

Senior Dating Links:

Charlotte Mature Singles
Baltimore Mature Singles
Albuquerque Mature Singles
Honolulu Mature Singles
Tucson Mature Singles
Boston Mature Singles
Miami Mature Singles
Atlanta Mature Singles
Manhattan/New York Mature Singles
Los Angeles Mature Singles
Cincinnati Mature Singles
Portland Mature Singles
Washington Mature Singles
Orlando Mature Singles
Cleveland Mature Singles
Philadelphia Mature Singles
Nashville Mature Singles
San Jose Mature Singles
El Paso Mature Singles
Fort Lauderdale Mature Singles
Brooklyn Mature Singles

February is the time of year when the focus on love and relationships runs high – and for obvious reasons. It’s hard to imagine that, with all the flowers and chocolates and Valentine reminders that Cupid is running rampant firing arrows into the hearts of innocent people everywhere, it’s also a time when love goes awry. According to many marriage and family counselors, February is one of the peak months for recorded breakups of relationships.

Could it be that the stress of trying to find the “perfect” way to declare your love on February 14th causes love fatality? Probably – but, if you are truly participating in a relationship and are sharing love in healthy ways, then that celebration can become one that is equally cherished and transformed from the rather material “show me how much you love me” to a triumphant “let’s celebrate our love that is here today, just as it was yesterday, and will be tomorrow.”

By remembering to practice conscious loving, you will develop the tools you need to create strong, lasting relationships. We all know that relationships have their ups and downs. That’s a given. A dear friend of mine once said to me, “When money troubles walk through the door, love flies out the window.” It’s in these moments, however, that your consistent practice of conscious loving will carry you through.

Things to Remember
The following is meant to be a guide for you to use in the development of your practice of conscious loving. Some of these will be more relevant at differing times, but all are important to nurturing the success of your relationships.

·         Giving – Give to yourself and to others in as many ways as you can: emotionally, physically, intuitively and intellectually. When you give, and suspend your focus on the need to receive, you will find fulfillment.

·         Be responsible – Allow yourself to be wiling to respond, and to be responsible to you first, and then to others.

·         Respect – While your respect is something that deserves to be earned, honor your feelings and the feelings of the person you love. Expressing your emotions and releasing them gives you the opportunity to extend this permission to others, thus providing a safe, honest space for both of you to grow.

·         Active knowing – You can learn about a person by inflicting pain on them, or by understanding them. Since love also involves feelings of potential loss, fear and insecurity, reaching out to others and understanding them while expressing yourself allows them to understand you. If you focus on understanding, you, in turn, will be understood.

·         Graceful intimacy – Seeing each other as “brand new” takes a level of grace and humility. As you create your reality out of choice and belief, look at each situation as existing in that moment only. That way you aren’t staring at the past, but instead are taking the moment as it comes in the here and now. You are seeking solutions for positive growth.

·         Commit with courage – In order to be in relationships, you have to commit to them. Just as you commit to getting a new job or saving up to buy something significant, you have got to get into relationships fully in order to get something out of them. Yes, it can be scary, but if you truly want to be in relationship, you must have the courage to commit.

Resource 
An excellent book on developing healthy loving techniques in relationships is called “Love: The Course They Forgot to Teach You in School” by Gregory J.P. Godeck. Filled with gentle exercises designed to bring you closer to the one you love, this is a great tool to not only nurse ailing relationships back to better health, but to build strong ones from the ground up. You’ll learn amazing things about yourself and gain tremendous understanding of others.

Affirm Your Gratitude
Another tool you can use, when faced with a “bump” in the path of your relationship, is to remember to have gratitude. Think of why you fell in love with this person in the first place. Think of what you love about them and be grateful. Also, prior to having serious discussions, it’s helpful to go over these points in your mind. An example would be: “I admire how hard she works,” or “I respect his ability to remain calm in tense situations.” Additionally, and you can say this to yourself as you look at the one you love, “I know that inside of both of us are incredible, loving beings. I want to see that in you, and I want you to see that in me.”

What you will find, as you incorporate these thoughts and actions into your relationships, is that they become more successful. That is, after all, what we all want. The best part is that it’ll only get better. Even when a relationship ends, a new one will come, and it will be yet another opportunity to love again.