There’s Nothing Wrong With Being Child-Free
We've come a long way in our reactions
to lifestyles.
It
is no longer taboo to be gay or perpetually single; we accept and applaud the
strength people show in living the way they want to live. But somehow, accepting attitudes tend to be almost non-existent when a friend or
family member chooses to live a child-free life. This is especially true when
you're in a relationship. If you say that you don’t want kids, everyone looks
down on you. From hetero to same-sex couples, family, friends, and co-workers
all want to know one crucial thing: when you're planning to have children. They
hint, not so subtly, that "babies will make your life complete."
For many couples, parenthood is not on their life's agenda;
they've chosen to be child-free.
A single person who tells potential dates
that she does not plan on being a parent frequently encounters amused confusion
and downright disbelief. Holding off telling a new partner your
decision until you're further along into the relationship is worse; they
feel you are secretive and not trustworthy if you haven't shared this life
decision with them.
It's as if we were still living in the
Victorian age when relationships led to marriage and marriage quickly led to
parenthood; there was very little choice. Along with corsets and bustles, that
way of life is not one many women would choose today.
More
and more women are choosing not to have children. So why do friends, family, colleagues and even strangers think it's perfectly
acceptable to question someone's utterly personal decision? What's so wrong
with making the choice to be child-free? According to researchers, nothing at
all.
According to a recent Pew Research Center report, raising a family is no longer a priority for
many couples. On a list, created by Pew, of nine things that make up a
successful marriage, having children was ranked as eighth in
importance.
A Reuters article states that: "Relationships in which both partners were equal
in education, interests, and finances, were more likely to see their happiness
prosper....throwing a child into the mix is likely to disrupt the relationship
dynamics adversely — researchers found couples with pre-school children were
the unhappiest, but became happier as their youngest child grew up and they had
more time for being a couple and for themselves."
There
is nothing wrong with thinking of yourself first and what you want in life. Your career
aspirations may be a high priority for you and travel or other interests take
priority over having children. And that’s perfectly alright; becoming a
mother isn't for everyone. While some critics call women who don’t want to be
mothers selfish, I feel the need to question the critics as to why they feel
that it is a necessity for all women to have children. It makes no sense and is
unrealistic.
Choosing to not have children conjures up
deep emotions and judgments from family and friends, but truly whose life is
it? It certainly isn't theirs, it's yours! What should be an intensely personal
choice be subject to public scrutiny? This is your life and your decision.
You're not a selfish person; you're an honest one who has made a life choice.
If they cannot accept what type of lifestyle will make you the happiest then
they do not have your best interests at heart.
The
American ideal—the married couple, with kids—is no longer the “Average
American” household and truly hasn't been for quite a while. Make your own
decision based on what you want. You're a person, not a statistic and you have
the right to live happily for yourself.
How To Save A Failing Relationship?
Healing from Abuse and Finding Purpose
How to Sabotage Your Online Dating Experience in One Easy Step
Avoiding Internet Dating Pitfalls
Gay or Straight Marriage: Love is Love
Love Your Mate But Can’t Stand Their Friends?
Комментарии
Отправить комментарий