Two of my girlfriends decided to start dating online at the same time. They thought it was a great idea and so did I. They meticulously constructed their online profiles; helped each other choose some really great photos, and even signed up for the same dating website. And then they sat back in their chairs, eyes peeled to the computer screen, and waited for their Prince Charming to arrive in their email box.
Friend Number One met a great guy in the first few days of her signing up on the website. She and the guy started the online dating dance by emailing back and forth and exchanging additional photos and such. Meanwhile, Friend Number Two was getting anxious and impatient and thought it was a horrible idea that the two of them began this endeavor together. Suddenly, it was becoming more of a competition than a friendly idea between two friends to start online dating together.
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Just about the time that Friend Number One was making telephone contact to set up an in-person meeting, Friend Number Two called to say she had met a wonderful man online. I was relieved. I didn’t want one friend of mine to be left behind in the dust. So, Friend Number Two went on to tell me that a really attractive man with compatible interests had contacted her and they were starting to regularly communicate online. They were setting up a phone date for later in the week, and hopefully they would eventually meet for an in-person date. She was happy and I was happy for her.
Meanwhile, Friend Number One had experienced in-person contact with her online date and they had hit it off. She was happy; Friend Number Two was now in the dating game and she was happy; I was happy for both of them. And then, the other shoe dropped! The three of us got together for lunch and talked, as gals are known to do, about the men in our lives. Of course Friend Number One started to go on and on about her fabulous new guy. And Friend Number Two chimed in about how she finally had a date to meet her online man face to face. And then my two friends began comparing their online guys and lo, and behold they realized in the most horrifying way, that the man they had both met online was the same man.
I know this sounds like a scenario from some romantic comedy of errors, but the truth is it happened. And my two friends were so utterly disappointed and for awhile, they were mad at each other, which is ridiculous but that’s how girls get. Jealously ensued and the competitive nature within them both roared its ugly head, but in the end, they remained friends and the guy was history.
Moral of the story: Do not automatically think that the guy you meet online is only dating you! He’s not. He’s got his own agenda, whatever that may be, and he’s probably dating a variety of women. So, you should have your own agenda. You should date more than one man anyway. It helps increase the chances of meeting the right one. My two friends survived this mix-up and now each of them is dating their own guy. But they learned a valuable lesson about friendship and online dating. Truth is they would do it again in a heartbeat. They both have similar tastes in men which is why they wound up with the same guy. But now that they each have their own man, it’s much more pleasant being around them!
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